Grieving
Another aspect of Casey’s personality that was mentioned during the trial but was largely laughed at by the media was the process of grieving. What we do know: during the 31 days when Caylee was reportedly missing, Casey was out partying, got a tattoo, went out with her then-boyfriend Tony, and went to see movies. This was one of the areas that appeared to incriminate her the most: her reaction to Caylee’s disappearance/death. Many people say these actions are not normal. Quite frankly, the argument of normality here depends on whether or not Casey already knew that Caylee was no longer alive. Based on this, it seems clear that Casey did indeed know what happened to her daughter; I am not saying this makes it any more obvious that she murdered Caylee, just that she knows what happened. But I will argue that her actions during the “grieving period” are not as irregular as they have been made out to be.
To make this argument, let’s bring in some history concerning that universally loved group of people known as The Beatles. Having read numerous books and various accounts of the childhoods of John Lennon and Paul McCartney in particular, rest assured we are dealing in solid facts. It is little-known that both Beatles have had their own irregular reactions to the loss of loved ones as well. McCartney was only 14 when his mother Mary passed away. His reaction to her death? He asked his father Jim how the family would manage without her wages. When Lennon was shot dead in 1980, McCartney’s first reaction was to say “It’s a real drag.” He was slaughtered by the media for that reaction.
When Lennon’s mother Julia was hit and killed by a car, her widowed husband said “Who’s going to take care of the kids now?” and he sent the kids to other relatives on Julia’s side of the family. John’s own reaction to losing his mother? He showed no reaction. In the weeks and months that followed, young John received sympathy from everyone around him, friends, acquaintances and family. Everyone cried over Julia’s death except John himself. His own response was to live an even wilder lifestyle than he already had been. Whether he was more angry than sad or whether he didn’t feel he could open up to anyone is a psychological mystery for someone else to uncover.
Even in his later years, McCartney has always been awkward when it comes to handling the deaths of his loved ones.
Please don’t take this as me comparing Casey Anthony to the greatest songwriting team of all time. The point is that everyone handles death differently. There are different short-term responses and long-term responses. Did anyone ever come down on Lennon for not showing emotion over his mother’s death, or for becoming wilder? No. Did anyone ever chastise McCartney for his reaction to Lennon’s death? Yes. Yet again, it was the media who came down hard on him. And yet, no one in their right mind would say that Paul did not care about John. Of course he did. He loved him very much, regardless of their friendship breaking down. It is not Paul’s fault that he doesn’t handle death in the “normal” way, and neither does Casey. Should it really be that surprising, again considering her obvious mental issues, the environment she grew up in, and the family’s mysteriousness and dysfunction portrayed in front of the country? Again, I am not surprised.
I am not saying it is right that Casey partied and drank while her daughter was “missing” or already dead, however you see it. I am choosing to keep an open mind about the fact that there are many uncommon ways of dealing with death, and this is an area which I personally can relate to quite well. I have seen many cases of people I know who have taken the death of a loved one and used it to their own personal advantage, often to get attention from someone they desire. Unfortunately, using death for one’s own advantage is not as uncommon as many people like to believe. It is a sad but true fact of life.
Another aspect of Casey’s personality that was mentioned during the trial but was largely laughed at by the media was the process of grieving. What we do know: during the 31 days when Caylee was reportedly missing, Casey was out partying, got a tattoo, went out with her then-boyfriend Tony, and went to see movies. This was one of the areas that appeared to incriminate her the most: her reaction to Caylee’s disappearance/death. Many people say these actions are not normal. Quite frankly, the argument of normality here depends on whether or not Casey already knew that Caylee was no longer alive. Based on this, it seems clear that Casey did indeed know what happened to her daughter; I am not saying this makes it any more obvious that she murdered Caylee, just that she knows what happened. But I will argue that her actions during the “grieving period” are not as irregular as they have been made out to be.
To make this argument, let’s bring in some history concerning that universally loved group of people known as The Beatles. Having read numerous books and various accounts of the childhoods of John Lennon and Paul McCartney in particular, rest assured we are dealing in solid facts. It is little-known that both Beatles have had their own irregular reactions to the loss of loved ones as well. McCartney was only 14 when his mother Mary passed away. His reaction to her death? He asked his father Jim how the family would manage without her wages. When Lennon was shot dead in 1980, McCartney’s first reaction was to say “It’s a real drag.” He was slaughtered by the media for that reaction.
When Lennon’s mother Julia was hit and killed by a car, her widowed husband said “Who’s going to take care of the kids now?” and he sent the kids to other relatives on Julia’s side of the family. John’s own reaction to losing his mother? He showed no reaction. In the weeks and months that followed, young John received sympathy from everyone around him, friends, acquaintances and family. Everyone cried over Julia’s death except John himself. His own response was to live an even wilder lifestyle than he already had been. Whether he was more angry than sad or whether he didn’t feel he could open up to anyone is a psychological mystery for someone else to uncover.
Even in his later years, McCartney has always been awkward when it comes to handling the deaths of his loved ones.
Please don’t take this as me comparing Casey Anthony to the greatest songwriting team of all time. The point is that everyone handles death differently. There are different short-term responses and long-term responses. Did anyone ever come down on Lennon for not showing emotion over his mother’s death, or for becoming wilder? No. Did anyone ever chastise McCartney for his reaction to Lennon’s death? Yes. Yet again, it was the media who came down hard on him. And yet, no one in their right mind would say that Paul did not care about John. Of course he did. He loved him very much, regardless of their friendship breaking down. It is not Paul’s fault that he doesn’t handle death in the “normal” way, and neither does Casey. Should it really be that surprising, again considering her obvious mental issues, the environment she grew up in, and the family’s mysteriousness and dysfunction portrayed in front of the country? Again, I am not surprised.
I am not saying it is right that Casey partied and drank while her daughter was “missing” or already dead, however you see it. I am choosing to keep an open mind about the fact that there are many uncommon ways of dealing with death, and this is an area which I personally can relate to quite well. I have seen many cases of people I know who have taken the death of a loved one and used it to their own personal advantage, often to get attention from someone they desire. Unfortunately, using death for one’s own advantage is not as uncommon as many people like to believe. It is a sad but true fact of life.
